Science jokes

Browse this collection of science jokes, science one liners and other scientific humor.


The Cesium song 12  2013/01/18
Seventy Six Neutrons(Tune, Seventy Six Trombones)Seventy six lithe neutrons swayed on Cesi..

The Cesium song 02  2013/01/18
I Wish I had a PoundOh I wish I had a pound of cesium.Oh I wish I had a pound of cesium.I ..

Chemistry song 09  2013/01/18
O Little Melting Particle(to the tune of "O Little Town Of Bethlehem")Para Dichloro Benzen..

Chemistry song 04  2013/01/18
Silent LabsSilent labs, difficult labsAll with math, all with graphsObservations of colors..

Chem one-liners 02  2013/01/18
Q: How many physical chemists does it take to change a light bulb?A: Only one, but he'll c..

Chem one-liners 04  2013/01/18
Q: What kind of ghosts haunt chemistry faculties?A: Methylated Spirits!Q: How many atoms i..

Rhymes in chemistry  2013/01/18
CHEMISTRY RHYMESOld Man Stokes Old man Stokes was a gentleman fine Who lived beside the Ra..

A geologist's song 06  2013/01/18
The geology poemOde to Olivine in Thin Section, a poem by Brenna Lorenz In basalt a lurid ..

Chem one-liners 01  2013/01/18
Organic chemistry is the chemistry of carbon compounds. Biochemistry is the study of carbo..

The Cesium song 06  2013/01/18
Why Don't We Mix Up the Two(Tune, "Why don't we get drunk..."with apologies to Jimmy Buffe..

Chemistry song 03  2013/01/18
I'm Dreaming of a White PrecipitateI'm dreaming of a white precipitatejust like the ones I..

The Cesium song 07  2013/01/18
Yesterday,I had Cesium with which to play.Now all my fingers have been blown away.And sile..

Chemistry song 12  2013/01/17
I Saw Teacher Kissing Santa ChlorineI saw teacher kissing Santa Chlorineunder the chemistr..

The Cesium song 03  2013/01/17
CesiumCesium, 'tis of thee,Thy 'positivity,Of thee I sing.Thou whose hydroxide, dis-solved..

A geologist's song 01  2013/01/17
The Geologist's Come-All-Ye (a folksong) by Brenna Lorenz Come all ye lads and you will he..

Giving birth in the year 4000  2013/01/17
In the year 4000, scientists invented a machine that transferredthe pain of childbearing f..

The Cesium song 08  2013/01/17
'Lectropositive Mama(tune, Lady Madonna)'Letropositive mama,Cesium on your meat,Wonder how..

Chemistry song 14  2013/01/17
We Three Students Of Chemistry AreWe three students of chemistry aretaking tests that we t..

Implants  2013/01/17
Implants There once was a man who had a phone implanted in his handand he walked into ..

The alcohol trouble  2013/01/17
During grammar school science experiements into properties of different alcohols:The resid..

science  2013/01/17
what do you call a science joke?STUPID...

Chemistry song 02  2013/01/17
The Chemistry Teacher's Coming to TownYou better not weighYou better not heatYou better no..

Chemistry song 13  2013/01/17
O Come All Ye GasesO Come all yea gasesdiatomic wondersO come yea, o come yeacalls Avogadr..

Sex with Clones  2013/01/17
I've been wondering...if you have sex with your clone, are yougay or are you masturbating?..

The Cesium song 11  2013/01/17
Cesium Glows(Tune, Love's a Rose - Neil Young)Cesium glows, but you better not lick it,It'..

Jokes of science 01  2013/01/17
At the physics exam: 'Describe the universe in 200 words and give three examples.' Q: What..

Don't Play God!  2013/01/17
God is tired of man thinking more highly of himself than heought to, and he's especially u..

Asked in science class  2013/01/17
REAL QUESTIONS ASKED IN SCIENCE CLASSESAre the rivers flowing up the mountain or down the ..

Albert Einstien  2013/01/17
If Albert Einstien was soo smart then how come hes dead?..

A man and his wife  2013/01/17
Florence Flask was ... dressing for the opera when she turned to her husband and screamed,..

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